Barbara Bonfigli and Cafe Tempest are on Page Six of the New York Post

In July and August - Barbara Bonfigli, author of Cafe Tempest will tour cyber space with Promo 101 Virtual Tours and Promotional Services. But she has started to promote her book in a variety of places and a recent interview touched on a current event topic that has effected many people. This morning there was a mention of Barbara on Page Six of the New York Post.

Madoff Victims Cynthia Crane & Barbara Bonfigli Meet

June 8, 2009 --

TWO victims of swindler Bernie Madoff met for the first time last week. During Barry Z's show on CBS Digital radio, cabaret singer Cynthia Crane said that after Madoff ripped her off, she had to put her 19th-century Greenwich Village townhouse on the market. Her comment shocked fellow guest, author Barbara Bonfigli, who said, "One day I found out that my first book was being published and two days later that I'd lost all my money" to the Ponzi scammer. The host responded, "Two betrayed Madoff investors [on the same show]. What are the chances of this?"

Listen to the interview here - http://blip.tv/file/2191249

For more information about Barbara Bonfigli and Cafe Tempest - visit her tour home page. We are planning her virtual tour and are looking for appropriate blogs to host her for a day - if you feel your blog would be right - contact nikki @ nikkileigh.com

Tour home page for Cafe Tempest - http://virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/2009/05/cafe-tempest-by-barbara-bonfigli-summer.html

World's Best Lover Contest Deadline Extended and a Special Offer For YOU

Exciting Contest for Valentine’s Day

Deadline Has Been Extended to February 9^th

& A Special Offer For You

Inspired by Dr. Ava Cadell, Founder of Loveology University® says, “Our Valentine’s Day contest was propelled by the ever-growing demand from people who need to be coached in all matters of love, relationships and intimacy. Through Love U, an online College of Sexual Knowledge, anyone can learn how to enrich their relationships and become a great lover. Most people know ‘how’ to have sex, but being romantic and making love is a truly an art-form that can—and often needs to be--learned.”

Dr. Ava and Loveology University® are asking “Romantics” to submit a short entry essay on why their lover is the “World’s Best Lover.” These entries can be completed FREE at http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/instruction.aspx. Your entry does not need to be graphic in nature – share what is special about your lover, what makes them special to you and what you feel for them. These are the judging criteria – 50% Uniqueness, 25% Emotional inspiration and 25% Seduction factor.

Upon nominating your lover’s name, you will receive a FREE “Loveology Certificate” stating that he/she has been nominated for the World’s Best Lover – a perfect Valentine’s gift at no cost. PLUS you will receive a FREE e-Book entitled “52 Sizzling Sex Secrets.”

Contest sponsored by Dr Ava Cadell and www.loveologyuniversity.com

The winner will be announced before Valentine’s Day, 2009 and get a $2,000 scholarship or $1,000 cash prize. Entry deadline has been extended to February 9^th, 2009 – the winner will be announced February 13^th.

NOTE: A SPECIAL OFFER FOR YOU

In addition to the free entry and free gifts for everyone who enters the World’s Best Lover contest, I just got word of another special offer for February and for Valentine’s Day. Dr Ava offers an unbelievable number of wonderful courses through Loveology University. Whether you are married, single, in love, looking for love or looking to make your love life better, she has something that would be great for you. If you’re in an industry where you would like to learn more about human relationships, love, sex and much more, this is an offer for you. During the month of February, go to www.loveologyuniversity.com and take a look at the courses that are offered - http://www.loveologyuniversity.com/CourseCatalogue.aspx. If you enter this discount code – NL0109 and you will receive 20% off. I’d order a course or two now, that will give you time to see how much information she offers and you have time to order something else before the end of the month. If you have questions, feel free to contact nikki@nikkileigh.com

Political Analyst Earl Ofari Hutchinson in New Book How Obama Won Says The Economy Holds Deep Peril for Obama

Middle Passage Press

5517 Secrest Dr.

Los Angeles, Ca. 90043

323-296-6331

February 3, 2009
for Immediate Release
Contact:

Earl Ofari Hutchinson

323-383-6145

Political Analyst Earl Ofari Hutchinson in New Book How Obama Won Says These Tough Economic Times Hold Deep Peril for Obama

Political analyst Earl Ofari Hutchinson in his new book, How Obama Won, predicted that the economy would hold deep peril for the new Obama administration. Hutchinson reviews in his book how polls repeatedly showed during the campaign that the economy; or rather the train wreck of the economy was really the only thing on voter’s minds.

Hutchinson also told why and how economic woes would continue to be the only thing on American’s minds after the election and that they would judge Obama’s performance on how quickly and effectively he dealt with the economic crisis.

Hutchinson assesses whether Obama’s vow to cut taxes for the middle-class, clean up Wall Street's mess, and create lots of jobs for everybody would do much too stem America’s economic worries. Hutchinson shows how the economy continues to bear out the old political truism that it's the economy stupid that wins or loses presidential elections as well as makes or breaks presidential administrations.

In How Obama Won, Hutchinson, reminds that from day one of campaign 2008 the enshrined article of political faith was that voters were so furious at Bush for causing massive plant closings, farm failures, corporate bungling, fraud and corruption, the housing collapse, soaring gas prices, and the wholesale flight of jobs to the far corners of the planet. America’s fear and fury over the economic misery will grow worse during the early days of the Obama administration. The test, says Hutchinson, is whether Obama can reduce those fears. How Obama Won is a blueprint for understanding how he’ll try.

Earl Ofari Hutchinson is an author and political analyst and a Huffington Post columnist. He is the author of The Ethnic Presidency: How Race Decides the Race to the White House (Middle Passage Press, February, 2008).

Contact:
Los Angeles, Cal 90043 U.S.
323-296-6331
hutchinsonreport@aol.com
http://www.learnhowobamawon.blogspot.com
Contact Name: Earl Ofari Hutchinson
Contact E-mail: hutchinsonreport@aol.com

Traps women fall into – Thinking a man is a financial plan

Traps women fall into – Thinking a man is a financial plan
By Doris Roper

Many women, particularly those of baby boomer age and older, rely on a man to be their financial plan. This is mainly due to conditioning that started in childhood.

The typical couple used to consist of the husband who was the breadwinner and the wife who was the homemaker and mother. Women were not encouraged to involve themselves with finances and investments. Those were considered the man’s job. As a result, women did not develop the skills to competently manage money or understand investments.

The unfortunate result of this early programming is that many women feel “dumb” about money and believe that they are not smart enough to learn. They therefore avoid the subject and continue to depend on men to take care of the finances.

When women are caught up in the subconscious belief that men are the ones who take care of the money, they face a great deal of fear and anxiety when they are suddenly confronted with divorce or widowhood. Not only do they have to deal with the emotions that come with such a life-changing event, but they also have to learn to manage a very important part of life at the same time. This is extremely difficult and these women usually feel totally lost.

Escaping the trap

Women should educate themselves as much as they can about finances. It is actually not as complicated or difficult as many believe. Take some classes, hire a financial coach or join a membership site that offers financial education and support.

Research has shown that more than 80% of women will be the sole financial decision maker at some stage in their lives. This is due to the high rate of divorce and the fact that women tend to outlive men, which leaves a great number of widows having to manage the money.

Now more than ever with the current financial crisis, it is vital that women become smart about money. When someone else manages our finances, we tend to be out of touch with the reality of our financial situation and this can cause us to spend more than we should and gets us deeper into debt. Taking control of our own financial management and increasing our skill increases our confidence and ability to face life’s challenges.

Ladies, start to become smart about money today and remember a man is NOT a financial plan!

Doris Roper is president and founder of the W.I.T. Institute - a one-stop resource for women in transition. Doris helps women to figure out how and where to start when facing a transition and plan accordingly. She is a financial life planner, certified divorce planner, mediator and author of WAKE UP your life! A woman's guide to real personal power.

See her website at http://www.witinstitute.com and the Institute's membership site at http://www.smartwomanssuccess.com

Special Offer During January 2009 -

Each time a blog visitor comments on any or all of the blog stops, they will be entered in a random drawing for a 6 month Gold membership to The Smart Woman’s Success Connection http://www.smartwomanssuccess.com/index.php/public/56-gold. This membership has everything you need to know for money management including information about having a financial plan and starting a business and includes a copy of her book in audio and PDF. It also offers a resource for women who want to stop their divorce..

Share your thoughts and comments with author Doris Roper. She will check in throughout the day to answer questions. You’ll learn more and have a chance to win a Gold membership to The Smart Woman’s Success Connection. If you haven't already read her book pick up a copy during the tour at http://www.witinstitute.com/wake_up.html

For more information about Doris Roper and her virtual tour, check the schedule at http://virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/2008/12/wake-up-your-life-by-doris-roper.html

Money and success – Three steps to becoming smart about money and thriving

Money and success – Three steps to becoming smart about money and thriving
By Doris Roper

Becoming smart with money and thriving requires more than a basic financial plan. Knowing how much you need to put away for retirement or college is all very well but to achieve your goals and dreams you need a lot more than mere time-value-of-money calculations. There are many more aspects to being successful and I will discuss three of them here.

1. Awareness

The first step is to become aware of your money blueprint. Most of us are blissfully unaware of all the underlying issues and beliefs that govern the decisions and actions we take.

Have you noticed how some people earn large salaries but are still barely able to make it? Or have you heard about lottery winners who squander all their winnings within the first few years? Why do you think this happens?

They have unconscious beliefs about money that keep them poor or struggling no matter how much money they make or receive. These beliefs usually start in early childhood. The words and actions of our parents concerning money can have a profound influence on our own beliefs about money and wealth.

Did your parents say things like “money doesn’t grow on trees”, “we can’t afford it”, “he’s stinking rich”. These are all statements of scarcity and have a negative effect on our beliefs about money.

How did your parents manage their finances – poorly or frugally? Did dad handle the finances and give mom an allowance? Did they create a lot of debt?

Delve deeper and try to discover your own unconscious programming where money is concerned.

2. Your values, purpose and vision

The next step is to discover what is important about money to you. Money means different things to different people and the amount of money you desire should line up with your values, your purpose and ultimate vision for your life.

Some people think that if they had a million dollars in the bank they would be happy, but we all know that money doesn’t buy happiness as evidenced by all the unhappy rich people in the world.

Do some soul-searching. Figure out what it is you really want, what would give you fulfillment. Ask yourself, “If money were no object, if I could do anything I want, if I had only one year to live, what would I do?” Write down whatever pops into your head no matter how silly you think it is. Don’t limit yourself by worrying about ‘how’ you can achieve it. Just let your imagination go.

3. The nitty gritty

If you realized that you have some negative beliefs about money, you should start reprogramming your mind with positive thoughts.

Hopefully, you figured out what you would really like to do and have in your life. Now you can plan accordingly. Now you can work out the numbers.

Get organized, figure out your net worth, create a spending plan, get rid of debt, establish an emergency fund that will cover 6-8 months of expenses and make sure you save for your goals.

Many people think that carrying out step three is enough. However, unless you uncover and reprogram any negative beliefs you may have about money you are likely to sabotage your own chance of success.

Step two is very important because if you do not know where you are going and what you ultimately want to achieve, you may be swayed this way and that and never reach that place of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Begin taking the necessary actions today that will help you achieve your dreams and thrive!

Doris Roper is president and founder of the W.I.T. Institute and senior partner of CRB Wealth Management in San Diego, CA. She is a financial life planner, certified divorce planner, mediator and author of WAKE UP your life! A woman's guide to real personal power.

See her website at http://www.witinstitute.com and the Institute's membership site at http://www.smartwomanssuccess.com

During January 2009 -- post a comment for Doris and be entered in a drawing for great prizes.

How You Can Prosper In Any Economy by Mark Tewart

How You Can Prosper In Any Economy

by Mark Tewart

In the current economy many people and businesses are thinking in terms of survival rather than prospering. Your current dominant thought patterns accurately predict your future. The root of the word scarcity is scared and success and money never follow fear. The good news is that you can not only survive but thrive in this or any other economy.

The first thing you must do to succeed is to change the questions you ask yourself. Instead of asking how you can survive, ask yourself how you can thrive. Look for problems and the opportunity gaps created by the common problems that many are encountering. Every problem brings great opportunity. The glass is not half empty and the glass is not half full. The glass is always full. It's is full of a mixture of liquid and air. It's only the limitations of your philosophy and the training of your brain that keep you from seeing that reality. However, most people feel they are being positive if they see the glass as half full. The reality is you must understand and embrace the concept that the glass is always full for you to be able to see and recognize that fact.

When you completely eliminate the possibility for anything but moving forward, succeeding and thriving, you will begin to experience the results you desire. You will completely understand and embrace any and all setbacks in your path as positive and recognize the lessons learned from them and then adjust. The key part of this equation is the philosophy of responsibility. When you make a declaration to stop blaming any and all things for your results but yourself, you will see more opportunity.

Your results and success are not based upon good or bad economies, good or bad workplaces, good or bad teachers, good or bad bosses. Your success is simply determined by you and you alone. You have the free will to determine your thoughts philosophies and actions. Massive success and massive failure have equal access and the seeds of both are sewn as easy as flipping on a switch.

If you are suffering in this economy, ask yourself what allowed your limitations to affect you or your business to be so negatively affected. One is a horrible number for business and success. Were you depending on one revenue stream, one type of customer or one product? Did you have a built in continuity program for your business and income that tend to lessen the affects of economic downturns? Have you looked to see if there is a business within your business that can be explored, created or maximized? Have you looked to speed up, slow down or create a different delivery channel or experience in that channel?

The answers are always there but you have to ask the questions and allow your imagination to attract or create the answer. Sometimes, just working harder is more of a hindrance than an effective answer to your problems. The hamster runs faster on the wheel but never reaches a destination and just gets tired and quits. There are only 1,440 minutes in every day. The answer comes in carving out a part of your day to simply be still. Be still to allow your mind to ask questions, and seek meditation for the answers. All thoughts create energy. That energy will allow matching energy. However, you have to be willing to see, feel and understand when those answers come your way. If you are not ready, you may see the glass as half empty or half full but you will never the see the glass as full. The full glass is always there, you have to be looking for it to see it.

Mark Tewart

Mark Tewart is a professional speaker, consultant, entrepreneur and author of "How To Be A Sales Superstar"

www.marktewart.com

info@tewart.com

BREAKING NEWS - How Obama Won is Now Ready to Ship

The first shipment of the print copies of How Obama Won just arrived this afternoon and they are still cold from being in the UPS truck - its cold in Virginia today.

We have an ebook available to people around the world (emailed one to Germany this morning) and we have books ready to ship throughout the US and to Canada. For more information and to place your order now - visit

Obama - Print Book Shipped within the continental US
http://nikkileigh.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=2174946

Obama - Print Book Shipped to Canada
http://nikkileigh.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=2241948

Obama - Ebook to be emailed around the world
http://nikkileigh.plimus.com/jsp/buynow.jsp?contractId=2174906

Please contact us with any questions -- here or at howobamawon@gmail.com

For more details about the book and to read several excerpts, visit http://learnhowobamawon.blogspot.com/2008/12/excerpts-from-how-obama-won.html

How Do You Think Obama Won?

There are many theories from the media, the pundits, blogger and regular people about How Obama Won. Would you like to share your thoughts? Feel free to post your comments here and tell us what you think made the difference. What helped Obama win?

Nikki Leigh

PS - Are you on the waiting list to be notified when How Obama Won arrives? Are you interested in signing up for our affiliate program? Complete information is posted in the right hand column of the blog at www.learnhowobamawon.blogspot.com.

Possible Help in a Struggling Economy

Every aspect of our daily lives are affected by sales, even though we may not think in those terms. When you buy any product or service, various sales people are involved in the background. Even your utilities are affected by the sales process. Sales people have gotten a bad “rep” for years, but that isn’t necessary. We all know people in the sales industry that are superstars. The question is – how do you become a sales superstar? Mark Tewart is a definite expert who has the answer to this question and he is sharing his thoughts and tips in his new book “How to be a Sales Superstar”.

Read my review here - http://www.evancarmichael.com/Book-Reviews/2820/How-to-be-a-Sales-Superstar-Break-All-the-Rules-and-Succeed-While-Doing-It-by-Mark-Tewart.html

On Monday December 22nd, I'll interview Mark Tewart on my internet radio show. I'm going to try to do something different this week. When we look at the current economic situation in the US and the world - we know that many businesses are in precarious positions. So, I'm asking people to send me their questions. I can ask my own questions, but I'm willing to ask your questions during the show. Mark Tewart has a wealth of great information to share and I'm glad to have the opportunity to share it with my listeners.

For people who aren't in business - think about the unemployment numbers. They are higher than they have been in many years. If you had tips to help you do better in your current job - even if you aren't in sales - wouldn't that make you worth more to your current employer?

Feel free to send me your questions and for people who cannot listen to the show live, you can visit the site www.blogtalkradio.com/nikkileigh and download the show. We will be on air Monday December 22, 2008 at 3 pm EST. If you have questions, please forward them to nikki@nikkileigh.com


Nikki Leigh - Award Winning Fiction and Non Fiction Author
Promotional Services - http://www.nikkileigh.com/promo.htm
FREE Insiders Guide to Virtual Tours - www.nikkileigh.com/insiders_guide.htm
Follow Me on Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/litekepr

10 Tips to Winning in a Bad Economy

During the months of November and December, Mark Tewart is touring the blog-o-sphere with Promo 101 Virtual Blog Tours and we will feature a couple of his articles which address the current economy and sound advice about what we can do to survive and excel in these tough economic times. Many businesses are flourishing - how can you flourish? Read on for details and the link to Mark Tewart's full tour schedule and a link to free gifts are posted at the bottom of this message.

10 Tips to Winning in a Bad Economy

Unless you have been hiding in a cave somewhere, you have heard that the U.S. economy is doing poorly. Housing starts are down, the value of the dollar is down, car sales are down, real estate is down, retail is down, gas prices are up, food prices are up, bankruptcies are up and the sky is falling. What is a person to do?

1. Don't Drink the Cool Aid
The news is sensationalized and fear sells. Things are rarely as good as they seem and things are rarely as bad as they seem. If you allow yourself to give in to the news, you will determine your destiny. When people tell me about the bad economy, I tell them I have chosen not to participate.

2. You Can't Cut Your Way to a Profit
Expense management is done at all times, not just in bad markets. Cutting expenses in bad times is a misnomer. It's like taking Tylenol for a heroin addiction. You set your good and bad habits in good markets, not bad. Be selectively extravagant and prudently frugal. I have never seen a business survive and thrive a down market by trying to cut expenses as their long-term strategy.

3. Don't Cut Your Life Line
Some of the easiest variable expenses to cut out are advertising and marketing. That also takes a bad situation and makes it worse. When your business drops and you take action to stop the flow even more, you are doomed. Be smarter with your marketing and adopt direct response methods that can be tracked and measured, but don't cut marketing because it's the easiest cut.

4. Dance With Who Bought You
The past and present customers are the lifeblood of any business. These customers are also the most overlooked and underutilized asset in ALL businesses. Everyone gives lip service to their glorious love of their customers, but what are you really doing to create and nurture the relationship? Do you have a relationship building program that creates over 50 positive customer contacts per year? You can have all the BDCs and CRMs you want, and that does not mean you are creating personalized-based marketing that creates relationships. The people who have done business with you already like and trust you and will most likely do business again - and bring others - if they are appreciated, rewarded and, yes, asked. NOBODY does a good enough job with their customers. There's gold in them thar hills.

5. Make the Bad News Good
Use all the bad news and the fear and negative emotions associated with it to your advantage. Use the headlines in your marketing and advertising and become the solution provider, i.e., 10 Tips for Winning in a Bad Economy.

6. Stop Boring Me to Death
If I get another "one size fits all, looks the same" mailer for an event sale, I think I will puke. Be creative and use trash can mailers, wallet mailers and other dimensional mail. Stop trying to get the lowest cost per piece and concentrate on the highest ROI for your mailings and other marketing. Boring does not sell in any media format.

7. Go Back to the Basics
Everything is basics. Instead of cutting your education, double your education efforts. If the market is really that bad, then you should have tons of time to educate yourself and your team. If your opportunities are fewer, then you must maximize each customer contact. TLC - Think like a customer. Examine your process from a customer's point of view and ask yourself what creates heartburn for those customers.

8. Super-Size It
You can impact your bottom line immediately by increasing either transaction size or the gross margin. In my entire career, I have never found a business that cannot increase their transaction size and margins. Stop accepting fate as a commodity and differentiate yourself, your product and business and ask for more money. You can do this through add-ons, bundling, value added presentations and better process for asking for and negotiating money. "Do you want fries with that?" and "Do you want the large popcorn for 25 cents more?" are not accidental questions.

9. Create Multiple Experiences
If your customers buy one product or service from you, then they will buy more. The average automobile dealership only retains 19 percent of their customers from sales to service. That number is business suicide. Sending a one-time mailing for a discount oil change does not constitute a continuity program. With a continuity program, any business can move from that 19 percent figure to 50 percent and more. When you create a continuity program, you will insulate your business from bad economies in the future because you will be less dependent on conquest customers.

10. Speed of the Boss, Speed of the Crew
As the leader thinks and acts, the team shall too. If the leaders of your business talk "bad economies" and "bad markets," the team will believe it. What are your leaders doing right now? Don't major in the minor. Spend every minute of the day in the pursuit of things that will create customers and incomes now and in the future. Just last week I had a dealer tell me that he was waiting for this bad market to turn around before he did anything with his business. My reply was, "How is that working for you?" If the leader does not believe, don't expect the troops to believe.

Mark Tewart’s websites include: www.marktewartlive.com, www.marktewart.com and www.howtobeasalessuperstar.info

To read the first chapter of How to be a Sales Superstar and to receive several FREE bonuses from Mark Tewart, visit www.marktewartlive.com.

Full tour details are posted at http://virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/2008/10/how-to-be-sales-superstar-by-mark.html

Sex Selection in the United States in the 21st Century

During the month of November, author Shobhan Bantwal is doing a virtual book tour with Promo 101 Virtual Blog Tours to promote her latest release - The Forbidden Daughter. While I was coordinating this tour, I spoke to many people who could not believe there are gender based abortions anywhere in the world in the 21st century. How could parents make the decision to kill a healthy child - just because the baby is a girl? Its hard enough to believe that people are doing this in other parts of the world, but I found an article today about this practice happening in the United States. To learn more about Shobhan Bantwal and The Forbidden Daughter, visit her tour page - http://virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/2008/09/forbidden-daughter-by-shobhan-bantwal.html.

Nikki Leigh

Sex Selection Alive and Well
in South Asian Immigrant Communities in the U.S.

(India Currents, News Feature, Sunita Puri, Posted: Mar 17, 2006)

The woman lying on the examination table is clearly nervous. She has a look of troubled anticipation, brows deeply furrowed, lips pursed and pale, and forehead glistening with tiny beads of sweat. She takes a deep breath, and grasps her dupatta with moist hands, while mouthing prayers into the off-white wall.

“It’s a girl.”

I watch the woman’s blank expression, and catch the look of frustration on her husband’s face in the corner of my eye. Seconds later, she begins to cry.

As a medical student I first became interested in the issue of sex selection upon talking with South Asian women who told me they were abused or neglected by their husbands and extended family because they had given birth to girls. I was surprised to learn that such pressure to have boys exist even within immigrant South Asian communities in the United States. A number of factors have converged to actually enable this practice: easy access to routine ultrasounds (forbidden in India), the availability of abortion services, and the American fertility industry, which offers everything from preconception sex selection to at-home gender determination kits. Ads for sex-selection clinics have appeared in South Asian community papers and even The New York Times.

I thus decided to do a research project on sex selection and the reasons for its prevalence among both South Asian immigrants and non-South Asians in the United States. This research is formally intended for the master’s thesis required for my medical degree, but I also wanted to do this project to promote dialogue about a preference for sons and its impact on the lives of women and children. Any quotes and locations have been changed to protect the identities of my research subjects.

When I first began my project, I was extremely wary. I had seen that newspaper articles about the skewed gender ratio in India often make the front page, yet offer little insight into the reasons for sex selection, or the pressures and emotions involved in such decisions. I did not want to further stereotypes about the preference for sons among South Asians. I wanted to understand what drives women to seek three or more abortions in their quest for a male child. I wanted to know how the desire for a son, and not wanting any more daughters, affected a couple’s existing children. I wanted to understand how medical providers felt about offering sex selection services or simply early sex determination via ultrasound. And, I wanted to understand why this practice was occurring in the United States among South Asian immigrants.

“In this country?” is the incredulous response I most often hear when I discuss some of the trends I’ve observed. Yet my own surprise has lessened as I’ve researched the reasons behind son preference. Religious and cultural festivals are not the only practices that survive the processes of immigration: the ultrasound machine has retained its iconic status among some South Asian immigrants in this country. When I ask women why they want a son, they often expect that I should know and understand that this is “an expectation of women,” as one woman put it.

Yet, what draws couples to travel across the state and sometimes to other states to get an ultrasound scan? What motivates them to spend thousands of dollars to select fetal sex before conception? Surprisingly, it is often women themselves who firmly believe that they need to have a son. The couples visiting these clinics usually already have at least one daughter—I have never seen a couple try and select the sex of their first child. When I ask why, they often tell me, simply, that every mother has a right to a son. Sometimes, their stories are heartbreaking: their female in-laws taunt them, call them infertile, drive them to it. It is sometimes their own mothers or mothers-in-law who pressure them to have a boy. In other instances, the tension between the couple in clinic is palpable, and I wonder about the pressures women face from their husbands at home.

It is undoubtedly difficult for couples to speak with me about their most personal and intimate matters. Yet they patiently answered my questions, allowed me to sit in on their clinic visits, and afforded me glimpses into their emotional experiences. Many are deeply conflicted, and openly acknowledge the tension in being a woman and not wanting a daughter. Some do not want to have a girl because they want to prevent another woman from suffering as they have. Some hope that the newer technologies of sperm sorting will actually decrease their emotional suffering by avoiding an abortion.

A crucial question arising from this work is, what does this practice do to our daughters? Children are usually overlooked in the debate about sex selection, yet they are among the most immediately affected. Children who witness parents’ ongoing attempts to have a son are impacted emotionally and materially. A South Asian American student told me in an interview, “Do these parents think we don’t know what they’re up to? Of course we do. It’s no mistake that all the families I know have, like, four girls and the youngest is a boy. It’s obvious to us even if we don’t say anything. Because what can we really say?”

One could argue, as many physicians have, that patient autonomy and the concept of choice makes sex selection permissible if patients believe it is the best option for their family. However, it is not entirely clear whose choice it is. If a woman faces intense pressure, psychological or otherwise, to have a son, is she really exercising her choice? If she is harassed, threatened, or emotionally abused, is she free to seek or not seek sex determination or sex-selection services?

The real issue is not necessarily sex selection per se, but what sex selection signifies—the unequal status of women. While many couples say they need to have a son since they already have daughters, many do not know how to answer me when I ask if they would seek a daughter if they had only sons. Technology or physicians alone are not at the root of the problem. The use of technology and marketing of sex selection exist because of the preference for a male child. Technological advancement undoubtedly increases the pressure to use technology in order to have a boy. One woman told me, “Now that all these methods exist, if I don’t use them, my in-laws will harass me.” While I understand the role that technology plays in making this issue worse, ultimately it is the deep-seated preference for boys that we must question and challenge. For instance, why is it that some couples believe they have “too many daughters,” but we rarely hear complaints about “too many sons”?

We must acknowledge the societal pressures to have a son rather than condemn couples who succumb to them. Judgment and blame will only thicken the shroud of secrecy surrounding these practices, making it even harder to talk about it. Family planning decisions are naturally complex and emotional, but in this instance they can be influenced by expectations from family and community that result in unusual pressure and harm to both women and children.

How can the family and community provide a more positive influence? We can take steps towards change in small ways. For example, we can congratulate couples equally when sons and daughters are born. We can organize small meetings about creating more opportunities for women’s advancement, and more days to celebrate women’s many accomplishments. We can hold debates about the role and status of women, making space for women to talk about the ways they have experienced gender inequality. We can remind our daughters every day that they are equal to their brothers in every way.

When I look around me, I see strong, brilliant, beautiful South Asian daughters committed to improving the world around them. Our women are teachers, world-class athletes, artists, musicians, writers, activists, doctors, lawyers, models, actresses, mothers, daughters, and sisters. Let us celebrate our daughters, and all the women of our community, and take active steps towards achieving equality of women and men, daughters and sons.

Sunita Puri is a second-year medical student at the UC San Francisco-UC Berkeley joint medical program. She is currently conducting an ethnographic study of son preference and sex selection among South Asian immigrants in the United States.

http://news.newamericamedia.org/news/view_article.html?article_id=77ccb8095412ea46e40184e503787025

Tough Economic Times Calls For Strong Leadership

Strong Leadership Needed in

Challenging Economic Times

by Hugh Ballou

“When times get tough, the tough get going.” - Anon.

"Nothing else in the world... not all the armies... is so powerful as an idea whose time has come." - Victor Hugo

- Economic News Headlines -

“GMAC posts $2.5 billion loss in 2nd quarter”

“Auto parts supplier Dana to cut 2,500 more jobs”

“Sara Lee swings to loss based on wheat costs”

Each day in the news we hear of the problems and/or failures in companies, such as mentioned in the headlines above. These companies are having a hard time in this difficult economy. How can you protect your company from these same kinds of problems? I don't claim to know what the problems were at these companies, but here are some examples and suggestions to help you protect your company during these difficult economic times.

In the challenging state of the economy, good leaders shine and poor leaders are exposed as ineffective. In many situations, the fate of organizations could rest on the skill of the leader. The way decisions are made and the attitude of the organization is key to success in tough economic times.

Symptoms of Poor Leadership

In the stress caused by a down economy, weak leaders and those they lead can be paralyzed by seeing only problems and challenges. This brings out negative actions by leaders. Here’s a list of behaviors that negatively influence employees and team members:

· Control: Asking for too many reports (sales calls, activity logs, etc.) that take time and send a message of mistrust.

· Micromanagement: Setting activities and schedules to tell employees not only what to do, but also how to do it. This sends a message of lack of confidence.

· Blaming: The leader blames others for situations beyond their control, or worse yet, blames others for situations they have created through poor leadership. This sends a message in incompetence.

· Silos: Departments or divisions draw into their ‘”own space” and do not effectively communicate or relate to the others. This sends a message of a hidden agenda.

· Attitude: A negative attitude not only makes hard work more difficult, but it instigates other negative attitudes. This sends a message that failure in ahead.

· Obstacles: False evidence appears to be real. A poor leader sees only obstacles and is bound by the restrictions implied by these obstacles. This sends a message of fear.

Solutions Provided by Strong Leadership

As some organizations cut back and build trenches for hibernation fearing loss, visionary leaders choose to put resources into building systems, strategies, skills and relationships to address the existing market. Here are some actions that strong leaders take:

· Training: Put resources into building skills of leaders and team members. This results in improved skills for addressing the future.

· Planning: Build action plans to address obstacles. This results in a culture that reframes barriers into opportunities.

· Coaching: The effective leader always has a coach and learns to coach team members. This results in improved relationships.

· Empowering: Allow team members to utilize their skills and talents and mentor them with information and strategies as well as budget. This results in new paradigms. This results in greater synergy in the team.

· Envisioning: Brainstorming and planning the future with team members creates trust and new ideas for action plans. This results in increased trust.

· Affirming: Along with allowing team members to utilize their skills, affirm good work. This results in the refocus of apathy into enthusiasm.

· Reframing: Be the model of what you expect from your team. Look at possibilities, not limitations. Be honest about the facts while looking at the options. This results in improved attitude.

· Reorganizing: Consider realignment of tasks and duties. Some team members many have become stale in their area of responsibility and the reassignment of duties might spark some interest. This results in greater ownership of the whole vision as well as individual areas of responsibility.

· Collaborating: Build cross-disciplinary project teams. People from different departments or divisions can team with others creating new visions for success. This results in greater effectiveness since tasks can be swapped and combined.

In challenging times the effective leader and a leader in training can demonstrate their worth to the organization. It’s a time to concentrate to building resources, strengthening relationships, fine-tuning systems and structures and working to improve personal skills. The great leader always articulates and shares goals and stays focused on the vision for the future.

As a final note, be sure to celebrate. Each success can be a celebration that brings momentum to the next accomplishment.

Hugh Ballou

Hugh Ballou is president of SynerVision International, Inc., an international consulting, coaching, and training practice in Blacksburg, Virginia. His unique insights for leadership training and teamwork come from his 40-years of experience as choral and orchestral conductor bringing harmony and synergy to group process. Hugh’s specialty is working with business owners as process coach and business strategist with clients in many countries.

His skill in teaching the collaborative leadership model is practical and proven in the trenches with his work in mega churches, non-profit organizations and businesses of all types.

He has published five books on Transformational Leadership: Moving Spirits, Building Lives: Church Musician as Transformational Leader, Moving Spirits, Building Lives A Workbook for Transformational Leaders, Building High Performance Teams: Systems and Structures for Leading Teams and Empowering Transformation, Leaders Transform: A Transformational Leadership Resource (Fall 2008), and his newest book: Transforming Power: Stories from Transformational Leaders to Inspire and Encourage and numerous articles on Transformational Leadership.

For more information

Transforming Power: http://www.transforming-power.com

Hugh Ballou: http://www.hughballou.com

Book information is available at http://www.amazon.com/Transforming-Power-Transformational-Encouragement-Inspiration/dp/0881775312

For full tour details, visit -http://virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/2008/06/transforming-power-virtual-tour-with.html

A SPECIAL BONUS TO EACH PERSON WHO PURCHASES TRANSFORMING POWER TODAY – Hugh Ballou has compiled a list of great FREE bonus gifts for anyone who purchases Transforming Power today. To see a sample of the items that are being given away, visit http://www.transforming-power.com. Just buy a copy of Transforming Power, return to this page and click to submit your invoice number to receive the web page link to download all of these gifts for FREE.

Teaching to Write or Writing to Teach?

Ever since I graduated from San Diego State University with my Masters Degree in Creative Writing, I have been teaching to write. In other words, the teaching paid the bills so I could write. Following ten years of writing and teaching, I accumulated some fiction about which I was proud to say, “These stories were written to teach the reader something.”

What better way to label a volume of short fiction that had a lot to say to humanity about compassion, understanding and open mindedness, than to put the picture of “Compassionate Conservative” himself, George Walker Bush, right on the cover? Of course, the title story about “The President’s Parasite” is a satire, one of the time-honored traditions of my relatives from the British Isles, Jonathan Swift, Alexander Pope and George Orwell. Satire teaches by using ironic humor, and this story is dripping with it.

How’s this? I’ll make you, the reader, a promise. If you have an open mind and are not offended by things like the biggest penis on record, homeless folks fighting for fame and fortune, the President of the United States being outwitted by a genius tapeworm residing in his bowel, or an abortionist who sings Beatles’ songs, then perhaps you will see the humor in my work. Remember how it was in school? Sometimes, the teacher made you think about what you were reading. That’s the way it is in my new book of short fiction, The President’s Parasite and Other Stories.

I am the kind of guy who chuckles out loud when showing my college students The Trial, a film based on the novel by Franz Kafka. There’s a scene in it where Joseph K. watches a lawyer make love to a washer woman on the floor of the courtroom where he is supposed to be getting his “justice,” but all the court officials stand around “gawking” at them. Milan Kundera, the Czech author of The Unbearable Lightness of Being was quoted as saying, “Franz Kafka should be read as fact and not as fiction.” Aha! So, Joseph K. is magically transformed into William Jefferson Clinton, one of the Bush boys, or dozens of other “absurd politicians” that we elect as our leaders. Now do you understand why I laugh?

My college professor, Dr. Maurice Friedman, once told us in his “Modern Existentialism” class, that he knew Max Brod (the best friend of Kafka who refused to burn his manuscripts when K. died), and that Brod told Friedman that Kafka used to read from his work to a collection of “Czech Literati” at some bistro in Prague. Friedman said Brod and the audience “laughed their asses off at Kafka’s stories,” as I hope you will laugh when you read many of the stories in this collection. It’s the laugh of the literati “insider,” so this makes you an intelligent human being. If you don’t laugh, and you take them seriously, then that’s fine too. Many never found the humor in Kafka. Remember this: I am a teacher who teaches to write and writes to teach. So, write to me at jimmusgrave@cox.net, if you have questions!

Imago Relationship Therapy with Edythe Denkin

Imago Relationship Therapy teaches couples that ‘They each are responsible for their own happiness’ and when this lesson is internalized in a person’s psyche, they can then begin to find happiness in their marriage. Imago tools help the couples achieve this goal. Here are some simple but wise steps, based on Imago Relationship Therapy, from my book “Relationship Magic”, that helps people start on the path towards self –discovery.

1. When there is a hurtful situation you first must do whatever it takes to help you clarify what is bothering you: Go somewhere ALONE, then yell, scream, even name-call your feelings. Since you are alone you can do this again and again until you feel better and identify what it is that is bothering you. Then try this again a few hours later. Wait another few hours, write your feelings down, and when you are ready, meditate on your feelings.

2. Next, do whatever you can do to clear up any disagreements by dialoguing with your partner. Remember to listen to your partner and to express yourself only by repeating (mirroring) what you have heard them say. After each “mirror”, ask them: “Is there anything else you would like to share about this topic?” When you partner has said all they have to say on the subject. THEN it is your turn. Hopefully by this point, you have heard their side of the disagreement and can feel some empathy for what they are experiencing.
3. Then decide what you have to do to correct the situation and DO IT. Once you do what you have to do, your partner will probably want to correct his/her side of the equation so the two of you will not feel out of balance. But don't do it for your partner, do it for yourself. Make a commitment to yourself, and keep it.
   
4. Acknowledge and meditation on this experience of feeling respected. Listening to yourself and your partner and by having your partner do the same is the key. Self-respect is the most important step in loving yourself and your life. When you are respectful to yourself first, you will automatically respectful of your partner. When you give yourself the understanding, the care, and the acceptance you need in order to feel good again you will be able to do the same for your partner. Practice this philosophy.

In short, steps 1 through 4 can be summed up by SAY/WRITE IT, SHARE IT, DO IT, BELIEVE IT!

About the author -

Edythe Denkin, PhD, is a Certified Marriage Counselor. Her most recent book, Relationship Magic, is a set of tools in parable form for those wanting to keep or rekindle the love and communication in their relationships. Dr. Denkin understands that “Happily Ever After” does not just come naturally. It takes communication, honesty, and empathy. This book is based on her work with Imago Relationship Theory.

The host of “Catch Your Kids Doing Things Right,” a four-part television series in which she taught many of her techniques to a wide audience, she has been trained and certified as an Imago Relationship Therapist by Dr. Harville Hendrix, best-selling author of Getting The Love You Want, et al.

Edythe is also the author of Why Can’t You Catch Me Being Good?, a best-selling book from Adams Media that shows how to raise self-confident and well-behaved children.

Edythe has embraced a spiritual quest and a personal calling to help people find their childhood triggers and help them reclaim their emotional freedom and happiness.

A graduate of Temple University, Denkin began her career as an Elementary School teacher. She went on to receive her Masters Degree in Elementary Education from the University of Bridgeport, and her PhD from Walden University. She has over thirty years experience as a therapist and relationship expert, specializing in marriage and child therapy, and is also a teacher, coach and motivational speaker. She is a member of the Institute For Relationship Therapy and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Dr. Denkin was recently honored by the University of Bridgeport with a Most Distinguished Alumni Award.

It Could Have Been Me: Indiana Jones and Riddle of the Real World

Back in the late 1970's, I was in college as a cultural Anthropology major in a major Northeastern University and had no idea that my chosen profession was about to become popular and even sexy to some. The year after I graduated I went to the movies and was stunned to have accidentally encountered a role model, the unconventional archaeologist, , Indiana Jones, and he was at least superficially just like me, or more appropriately, just like I wanted to be. While I was studying archaeology back then, Indie was actually doing the exciting fieldwork and retrieving the relics, idols and artifacts. While I had been attending the lectures about exotic cultures and civilizations, Indiana was feeling the warm desert breeze on the back of his neck and coming face to face with adventure and intrigue. Yes, there was quite a contrast there, and perhaps more than a little imaginative fantasizing about role reversal, so that I could be the one wearing the Fedora and having the adventures.

Actually, I knew several archaeologists and anthropologists. None of them had a Fedora. One did smoke a pipe, though, but that wasn't anywhere near as dashing. After the first Indiana Jones movies came out, there was actually something of a conflicted backlash by professionals within the industry. You see, the dirty little secret was that Indie was breaking all of the rules during his exploits. While he was being dashing and exciting, he was also frequently ignoring the fragile and precious nature of the objects of his quests, and certainly disregarding the rights of the governments or indigenous people whose artifacts he was plundering, for his University back home. Yes, back in the 19th and early 20th centuries, there were a few archaeologists who sometimes behaved that way, but by today's standards, they are hardly looked upon as role models. They were not Indiana Jones. For Indie, the adventure always ended with the retrieval of the fantastic and the revelation of what it meant.

Well, decades have passed and yet another Indiana Jones movie will soon be released in a few days. My own archaeology/anthropology career had managed to take a sharp left turn as well, taking me into directions I would never have anticipated. Yet, I still remember Indie fondly and actually owe a lot to him. In a way, he was responsible for me wishing to equal his exploits in archaeology. Much to my surprise, I have.

Instead of recovering lost artifacts, I created a hero who would do that for me. Rather than visiting exotic lands on this world, I created a land so exotic that even Indiana Jones would be amazed by it. You see, in my spare time, I became a writer of fiction . My adventures, so firmly rooted in archaeological realities, took flight into amazing fantasy and mystical realms, that would have made Indie's hair stand on end if he could have seen them.

Where the Indiana Jones movies traditionally end, with the retrieval of the amazing mystical artifact, my novel began. I was much more interested in the mystical after effects of the initial adventure than the retrieval process. Thus, the world of Asharra was born and my longing to trade places with Indiana Jones ended. I had created a world where even Indie would be amazed. It was on Asharra that I could endlessly adventure, even without a Fedora.

In my 600 page novel, the Winds of Asharra, professor and archaeologist, Evan Durant discovers a strange pulsating cube but the real adventure begins when his teenage son and his female friend ignore the professor's request and touch the artifact, which promptly transports them to a strange sensual and enigmatic land. This young adventurer, then follows the footsteps of Indiana Jones and his ilk, but into clearly uncharted territory. You see, Asharra is an adventurer's dream, a land filled with evolved felines, intelligent telepathic trees, musical dragons and even a mysterious dream inducing crystalline being. The fact that Asharra is a highly sensual place and filled with a rich and complex New Age philosophy further takes my decades long wishes and extends them into an entirely new arena.

When I was pursuing a cultural anthropology degree (dual major with comparative religions) back in the 1970's, I never imagined that I would be influenced by the Indiana Jones movies. Looking back on it, what geek wouldn't be? Still, the strange part is that, years later, I was able to channel my professional training and expertise and meld it together with my love for adventure, something I credit to those hours in the theatre, rather than the lecture hall. My adventure is one I can hold in my hands, a copy of the Winds of Asharra. I'm as grateful to Indiana Jones as I am to my degree in his field. Who would have thought that both of them would have lead me to the world of the purple sky, the land of Asharra? The best part is, I can visit and adventure there anytime I want. I don't even need the Fedora any more.

The Winds of Asharra is available from Amazon.com and other fine online book retailers.

www.windsofasharra.com

Winds of Asharra Virtual book tour with Promo 101 Virtual Blog Tours coming July 2008. Full details will be posted at http://www.virtualblogtour.blogspot.com/